


Two Sides Of The Same Coin

by KPOPTrashLord-007 (TrashLord_007)



Series: Yandere!Hongjoong Secret Admirer Valentine's Day Fics [1]
Category: ATEEZ (Band), K-pop
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Creepy, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Dark, F/M, Like Really Not That Bad, Mild Language, POV Second Person, Reader-Insert, Secret Admirer, Tumblr Ask Box Fic, Valentine's Day, Yandere, Yandere Hongjoong, high school seniors, mild violence, yandere ateez
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:20:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22704589
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TrashLord_007/pseuds/KPOPTrashLord-007
Summary: Reader is a bit off tbh. They go well together, aha.We're staying pretty light here with our Yandere!Hongjoong fics.High School (Seniors) AU.
Relationships: Kim Hongjoong/Reader
Series: Yandere!Hongjoong Secret Admirer Valentine's Day Fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1633048
Kudos: 26





	Two Sides Of The Same Coin

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this one first but I posted the 2nd work in this series before it. Doesn't really matter the order, though.

You crossed the 't's and dotted the 'i's, making sure that the letter looked perfect. In a small pile next to your trash can were the previous failed attempts. You wouldn't settle, not on this. Every stroke had to show your dedication. Every letter had to look immaculate and pristine. Every word had to convey your emotions. Every detail had to prove you were better than the rest. 

Brushing your hand too close to the page, you felt the ink before you saw it. It decorated your palm, deep and dark. Across the bottom of the page was a smudge. It taunted you. The hour you had spent on your confession letter went down the drain. God knows how many times you had crumpled stationery within your hands on this endless night, how many pieces of scrunched up porcelain-white pages littered the ground as a testament to your commitment.

You added another to the pile and tried again. 

Concealer did its best to cover the bags under your eyes but no amount of makeup could hide the evidence of your sleep deprivation that only deepened with every passing class. By the time lunch came around, you were in need of a nap. Deciding to forego your meal, you wandered the halls in search of an empty classroom to rest in.

It would be a lie to say you regretted your actions. There was no reason to, not once you had completed the letter and held the finished product within your hands. It would be a blatant lie to say it wasn't worth it. It was everything you needed to express just how much your heart yearned for him. 

And just like him, it was perfection.

There was a skip in your step as you walked the halls, searching for one that seemed a bit more deserted. On the second floor, there were a set of teachers who were on your same lunch schedule. As such, there wasn't a soul in sight. 

You tried to open a few doors here and there but most of them were locked. A frustrated groan slipped past your pouting lips. Of course this would be your luck. You were torn between giving up and just going home or powering through the rest of the day while running on fumes. 

Your fingers grazed the metal handle of your last attempt. It wasn't as cold as the others; there was a warmth lingering on it. You stared at the handle in confusion. It should be empty and yet you could hear someone whispering on the other side, their words tumbling out in an embarrassed jumble of breaths and stutters. 

This classroom was always empty for both sets of lunches. The teacher had a free period and would go home to make his lunch. As such, there would be no teacher inside therefore the embarrassment wasn't born from a threat of failure. Then it dawned on you.

It was Valentine's Day, a day for love and confessions.

With a scoff, you let go of the handle. You didn't feel like dealing with some lovey-dovey bullshit. You just wanted to lie down and rest, not listen to some girl gush over her crush. Turning away, you heard the second person speak, stopping you dead in your tracks.

"You're _pathetic_."

Though faint and muffled, you recognised that voice. It would be hard not to. You cherished the moments you heard him, though few and far between. You didn't share many classes with him but that made the ones you did all the more special. Without a doubt in your mind, you knew you would never forget Hongjoong's voice. 

You would never forget a _single thing_ about the love of your life.

There was something different this time, however. There was something dark in his tone. His words felt like a weapon, one you were glad he wasn't wielding in your direction. Only two words had been spoken and you felt the conversation come to a cold end. That's all that was needed to express his feelings.

Scorn.

Contempt.

Disgust.

Revulsion.

_Malice._

"I'm - I'm sorry, I just like you so much!"

You scoffed under your breath. Some people just didn't know when to give up. Not only did she have the audacity to confess before you had a chance to, but she was just plain pitiful. You heard her shuffle forward, then you heard the tearing of paper and the sound of a box hitting the ground. 

This dampened your own chances exponentially. From your own experience, you knew he would be in a bad mood. The girl had wasted his time and used precious minutes of his lunch to spew her bullshit and now his whole break had been ruined. Nothing was worse than being confessed to on the limited time that was assigned for relaxation. Just the mere thought of it had your eyes narrowing. 

His whole day had been soured by this, therefore _your_ whole day had soured. 

It would be a waste of your efforts to approach him now but an equal waste to just toss the letter away. You would just have to give it to him in a more discreet way. Pushing away from the door, you walked down the hall. You had a destination now at least, unlike the pointless meandering you were doing before.

You quickened your pace, checking over your shoulder to make sure the hall was still empty. The last thing you wanted was for someone to see you. A slight smile crept across your face. Your mind created reassurances, providing a small bout of comfort. 

He might not know that it was from you, but he would at least see it. Even if he threw it out or tore it to pieces just as he had done to the girl's, he'd open it if only to check who it was from and in that glance, your time would be validated. 

One look was enough for you. 

Walking to his locker, you slipped the letter inside and continued on with your day.

The next few days passed and the adrenaline wore off. Your excitement faded away to disappointment. You knew you shouldn't have expected anything but that didn't mean you didn't want your life to play out like some silly romance drama. It took every ounce of your sanity to anchor yourself back down to reality, your imagination running wild hand in hand with your endless hope. 

But all the same, he continued to not notice you. 

Friday rolled around and you found a compromise within yourself. At school, you'd focus and work hard. At home, you'd dedicate your time to your fantasies. He might not be yours yet but, for now, this would be enough. It had to be. 

You'd go crazy otherwise. 

The final bell rang and you collected your papers. It took you a bit longer than the other students. You had taken to leaving your work sprawled out on the desk this past week. It was your final glimmer of hope, really. Perhaps Hongjoong would see it and recognise your handwriting like a modern day Cinderella and her glass slipper.

It was ridiculous but it was all you had so you coddled it. 

He was one of the first out the door so you felt no rush, instead sighing as you slung your bag over your shoulder and left the classroom. The halls were emptying out as students either began their after-school activities or left for the day. Your afternoon was free so you exited the building and began your walk home.

When it had started, you had no clue, but it was raining. Each droplet splattered onto your hoodie with a dull thud, heavy to match the mood of your heart. The weather never changed, the sun hidden for the entirety of your walk. As such, you decided to take the scenic route through the park. It added an additional forty minutes to your trek but it was a little treat after a long week. 

In fact, if it was raining one could always count on finding you in the park. 

You weren't sure when this habit developed but you found a calmness in how the river flowed during the rain. Water would cascade down the jagged rocks and tree branches that had gotten stuck in the mud, creating a little dam. Trees swayed in the wind, reflected off the water in a dazzling ripple effect. The weight of the droplets caused the leaves to droop ever so slightly, waving with a soft bounce as they fell. They returned back to the river with an imperceptible splash, lost to the current as it flowed far, far away from you.

There was such a beautiful serenity to it all that you found yourself forgetting your woes. Your self-pity washed away, cleansed by the storm. You stayed there watching the water until the rain stopped. Realising how much time had elapsed, you sent a quick message to your family to reassure them of your well-being. With a quick stretch and a loud crack of your neck, you took a step back away from the river's edge.

Your back pressed against someone's chest, their breath wisping past your ear as they leaned forward, increasing the amount of contact between your bodies. 

"I got your letter."

You jumped, your hand flying over heart as you tried to calm yourself down. Between the playful lilt of his voice and his cologne that engulfed you, you were well aware of who it was without needing to see him. All the same, you _wanted_ to see him. You wanted to bask in his presence while you could and so you spun around, your eyes locking onto him as he stood before you in all his glory. 

Hongjoong, the love of your life. 

Perhaps it was the shock of his appearance or his touch or your own clumsiness, but you found yourself slipping. Your legs gave out under you and gravity took care of the rest as you fell backward toward the river. Your phone slipped from your hand and landed in the damp grass near his sneakers. 

A single ray of sunlight broke through the darkened clouds and bathed his skin in gold. The cold metal of his rings stung harsher than his nails as they dug into your skin, holding onto your wrists to keep you steady. You teetered on the edge of the bank.

"Wh-what? What are you talking about?"

Letting one of your wrists go, he pulled out your confession letter from within the pocket of his jacket. Your body weight swung to one side and your feet began to lose purchase on the muddying ground. You gasped, your lips quivering. His grip tightened on the wrist he still held as he rested the envelope between the fingers of his other hand. A smug smirk broke out across his face as he gauged your reaction. 

"Your letter."

"That's not mine."

" _Liar._ "

His smirk only grew as your eyes widened, your left foot slipping out from under you. Your legs were aching from the exertion required to remain upright. The sudden relief was enough for you to wish for your suspended fall to come to completion. Blood trickled down your arm from his iron grip instead. At this rate you thought your whole body could be hanging from the edge and he'd still dangle you by that single point of contact, never letting you fall but never fully rescuing you either.

"Fine." You paused, exhaling slowly. "It's mine."

"What a good girl."

"And you kept it."

"Of course I did. It's from you."

"How did you know?"

His eyes gleamed as he looked down upon you. The wind picked up once more, swaying both you and the trees above you. Your wrist and shoulder ached, the threat of dislocation lingering deep inside the joints. A shiver tore through your body. You felt chilled to the bone in your damp clothes. 

It wasn't until your weight shifted just a little too much and unbalanced you that you broke eye contact. Your right foot had had enough and quit beneath you, exhausted from holding the majority of your weight. You knew he would pull you up (why else would he have held you for so long?) but that didn't stop fear bubbling to the surface in the form of a shocked scream. 

Without really knowing how it happened, you found yourself wrapped within his warm embrace. One moment you were falling and the next you were safe within his arms. You couldn't stop your body from shivering just as you couldn't stop your heart from racing. So you chose to live in the moment. Linking your arms behind his back, you snuggled your face into his chest and absorbed as much of his warmth as you could. 

Once your body calmed and your heartbeat returned to normal, he spoke, "It smells like you."

"Huh?"

"The letter smells like your lotion and perfume."

"Does it really?" You frowned as he nodded. "Well I spent a lot of time on it so I'm not surprised."

He chuckled, "You're not what I expected."

"What did you expect?"

"Normal."

With a scoff, you untangled yourself from his grasp and pulled back just enough to stare at him head-on. There was a fire ablaze in your eyes as it reflected off his own blank and impassive eyes. A small smile played on his lips which only fueled your irritation. 

All of this and for what? For him to call you weird? He should have just let you drown.

"If you want boring, there's plenty of girls confessing to you in the comfort of a dark room. Take your pick."

"At least they confess to my face."

"I'd rather not waste your time when you're already pissed off."

"Smart girl."

"But that's not enough for a man like you, is it?"

"No, it isn't." His hands once again found their way to your wrists, tightening and tugging you closer to him as you tried to leave. Your discomfort increased, your joints screaming in defiance. His grip was immovable. With a pout, you turned your hands around to hold the inside of his arms. It was the only piece of control you could grasp. His tongue peeked out from behind pink lips, sliding across the plump flesh. "I need more."

"And what is it that you need?"

"Guess."

You paused just long enough to fill your lungs with a much needed breath to reassure that you wouldn't stutter. "You need someone who understands you, who wants all of you and not just the good things but the bad as well. Someone who accepts you and all your flaws. You need someone just as fucked up as you."

You wanted the words to resonate within him. You wanted the words to hurt. You wanted the words to express your deepest feelings. You wanted the words to remind him of you. You wanted your words to give you closure. You wanted your words to _mean_ something, to cause a reaction. 

You wanted to see him feel something, whether it be anger or disappointment or shock, because of you.

"From the first moment I saw you, I knew that we were quite similar." Releasing your wrists from their painful imprisonment, his breath hitched at your wince. Once again his tongue dragged across his lips. 

Fingers entwined within your tangled, wet hair and coerced your head back with a harsh yank. What you saw deep within his gaze had you squirming in his hold. There it was, plain as day, an emotion you had only dreamt of seeing sprawled across his striking features: _hunger_.

You moaned when his lips pressed against yours, rough and needy. His hands roamed your body, scratching and squeezing and marking every inch he could. Your teeth bit into the softness that were his lips and he growled, pulling you tight against his body before his mouth fell to your shoulder. He clamped down in retaliation. Another moan tumbled from your lips, this one strained. Your fingernails raked down the length of his back. 

He smirked against your skin, pressing kisses along your neck until he reached your ear, his tongue darting out along the lobe before he nipped on the outer shell. 

"I've always known you were the one for me." 


End file.
